Oh, hello blog that I’ve been neglecting for the better part of a year! Nice to see you’re still here, barely justifying the $26 a year I spend to keep you in existence. I suppose I ought to write something in you to keep you from becoming completely obsolete (rather than just the comfortable mostly obsolete that you are now).
Okay, I’ll stop talking to the blog as if it’s a sentient being and start talking to you, my faithful and ever-so-patient readers. I’m sorry I’ve kept you waiting for so long, though I doubt very much that you were actually waiting. More likely, you’ve forgotten all about this blog, but you’ve just seen a notification in your email or on your Facebook page (Hi Jess!) and a sense of morbid curiosity has drawn you back into my blog’s loving, sarcastic embrace. But hey, I’ll take it. You know I love each and every one of you for reading this nonsense that I write. (Yes, even you, Random WordPress People who have followed my blog for reasons I don’t entirely understand but am incredibly flattered by!)
So, what shall we talk about? Would you like to know how I’ve been? Well, I’ve been good. My Big Fucking Break (see previous post) ended in early October when I accepted a marketing position with the Southern California branch of the real estate company I worked for when I lived in the Bay Area. Also, things are going extremely well with 90s Music Guy. We moved in together last month and just celebrated our year anniversary. Who knew OkCupid would actually work?! Don’t get me wrong, these past several months haven’t been entirely cheery. My best friend moved to the other side of the country and I miss her terribly. There has been some family drama that I’ve mostly avoided, but was disconcerting nonetheless.
Also I’ve somehow managed to get fatter. (See how I said “somehow” like I don’t know how it happened? That’s a damn lie. I know exactly what happened. For about the past 6 months, I’ve eaten whatever I want with reckless abandon and I’ve enjoyed every second of it.) But seriously, I’ve reached the point where leggings and jeggings are the only comfortable pants I own anymore, and if there’s one thing that’ll spur this fat girl into dieting, the threat of a limited wardrobe. And so, after much discussion, 90s Guy and I have decided to make a change in our lifestyle and embark on a diet and nutrition plan that will hopefully have me back in pants with buttons again soon.
I bet you just read that last paragraph and thought, “Oh great! Another blog post by a fat girl about how she’s going to lose weight! YAWN/SIGH!” Well, fear not! This post isn’t about that. (Though I reserve the right to write that post in the future, and I expect you all to endure it because you luuuuurve me.) So what is this post about? Honestly, I don’t know. I’m just going with it in hopes that some incredible work of staggering genius suddenly develops from this otherwise self-indulgent drivel. How am I doing so far? Are you inspired? Have you laughed? Cried? Seriously considered buying a pair of jeggings because I’ve now declared them to be an acceptable fashion choice? No? Fine.
Maybe this blog post is just going to be about nothing. Maybe it’s just me writing something because I felt like I needed to write again. Hopefully, it’s me dipping my toes back into the writing pool before I decide to cannonball in with a post that actually means something. Keep your fingers crossed for good things, because lately I’ve been experiencing that old familiar pull towards my keyboard and I’m feeling rather inspired. I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.
Until next time, my darlings!
Eff That S! 